Friday, July 1, 2016

"Cure for the Common Universe"

Christian Heidicker is an awfully charming young author from Utah.

He applied the Page 69 Test to Cure for the Common Universe, his debut novel, and reported the following:
From page 69:
I followed the echo to a slimy mop trail, which led to the backside of a janitor hunched in the far corner. His mop was propped against an open grate, and he was peering inside a wall vent, which was large enough for him to t inside. Vapor from an e-cigarette coiled around his ponytail and ass crack as he mumbled. “They get points for doing a crap job cleaning up this place. Do I get a raise for cleaning up after them? No, I do not. Come on, you piece of...”

He pulled out what looked like a computer chip, slid it into a zip case, and then replaced it with another. He glanced up, saw me, quickly replaced the grate, and pushed his mop around the corner.

I walked up to the corner and squinted through the vent. Tiny green lights winked in the darkness.

What the hell? This was some serious Myst shit....

Whatever. I wasn’t there to solve mysteries. I was there to win.

Ugh. I was starting to sound like I was on a reality game show.

Back in the Nest, Fezzik placed a finger to his lips and pointed to a lump in one of the bunks. Zxzord was snoring.

“So is he on heroin, or not?” Meeki asked.
I actually don’t think this page is representative of my book at all! It involves a mystery that doesn’t actually end up going anywhere ... part of the real life is never as much like video games as one would like.

Those last few lines though... Them’s the goods.
Visit Christian McKay Heidicker's website.

--Marshal Zeringue