The Page 69 Test: "A Farewell to Arfs"

Sunday, August 4, 2024

"A Farewell to Arfs"

Spencer Quinn is the pen name of Peter Abrahams, the Edgar-award winning author of many novels, including the New York Times and USA Today bestselling Chet and Bernie

mystery series, Mrs. Plansky’s Revenge, The Right Side, and Oblivion, as well as the New York Times bestselling Bowser and Birdie series for younger readers. He lives on Cape Cod with his wife Diana―and Dottie, a loyal and energetic member of the four-pawed nation within.

Quinn applied the Page 69 Test to A Farewell to Arfs, the newest Chet and Bernie mystery, and reported the following:

Here is page 69 of A Farewell to Arfs. Chet and Bernie are approaching a house where a buzzard has just landed on the roof. Chet is not a fan of buzzards. Bernie has just asked him if something’s wrong.
Not a thing. I put a stop to any barking that may or may not have been going on. We hopped out of the car, me actually hopping, and hopping big time. A shadeless house but maybe not shadeless forever: little trees were growing here and there in the yard. I was considering laying a mark on at least one of them when two kids came stumbling around from the back of the house. These were skinny kids, kind of tallish, perhaps the kind called teenagers. But I hardly noticed any of that. What caught my attention was what they wore on their faces, strange goggles that weren’t at all like little windows, were in fact like little walls surrounding the top part of their heads. They were bobbing and ducking and dodging, throwing a punch or two and shouting, “nice try!” and “whoops!”

Bernie laughed. “VR, Chet,” he said, which made no sense, and then he raised his voice and said, “Guys? Hey, guys!”

No response from the kids, who kept on doing whatever it was they were doing. Had I ever seen anything like this? Why, yes! Escaped hostages! I got ready for who knows what to emerge from behind the house, but before that could happen Bernie stepped forward and touched one of the kids on the shoulder.

The kid jumped right off the ground. Then he whipped off the gizmo. “Huh?” he said. “What the hell?” He got a good look at us and backed away. Meanwhile the other kid also took off his gizmo, also backed away. The first kid had a faint, fuzzy sort of mustache and a rat tail. The second kid had pimples but no mustache and no rat tail.

“It’s all right,” Bernie said. “I’m Bernie and this is Chet. Didn’t mean to interrupt. We’re looking for Billy Parsons.”

“He’s not home,” said the pimply kid.

“Is he your dad?” Bernie said.

“Sort of,” said the pimply kid. “Like stepdad.”

“What’s your name?”

“Felix,” said the kid.
Will you get a good idea of the whole work from this sample? Yes! But here’s the truth. A Farewell to Arfs is the fifteenth novel in the Chet and Bernie series (which can be read in any order, by the way). Plus there are a number of short stories. Back of the envelope calculation, call it 5000 pages total. But the point is you could have picked any one of the 5000 and it would have been a good representational choice. Why? Because every single word comes from the mind of Chet. He is the sole narrator. A dog, yes, but not a talking dog. He’s as canine as I can make him, and therefore an unreliable narrator in some ways and super-reliable in others. When I discovered that—by accident—I thought oh, boy, think of the possibilities, and I’ve been thinking of them ever since.

And as a bonus on this page 69 you get to see Chet and Bernie working a missing persons case (or what appears to be one), which is their specialty. It even includes some thematic material because virtual reality and AI specifically are important factors in the story. Hard to imagine how that could be in a dog-narrated novel? Nevertheless! Also we have an indication of some troubling family dynamics in the offing. Chet is great with kids, although you have to turn the page to see some of that.