"Ways to Find Yourself"

Angela Brown is the author of Some Other Time and Olivia Strauss Is Running Out of Time. In addition to her novels, Brown’s writing has appeared in The New York Times, Real Simple, and other publications. She holds an MFA from Fairleigh Dickinson University. Brown lives in New Jersey with her husband and two children.

She applied the Page 69 Test to her new novel, Ways to Find Yourself, with the following results:

In Ways to Find Yourself, page 69 falls in the middle of a chapter. The protagonist, Grace, has recently arrived back at the beach house where she once stayed with her mother every summer, and is on a phone call with her soon-to-be-ex-husband, Adam. During the call, Adam reflects on the idea of “signs” (ex: seeing a coin on the sidewalk, finding a ladybug on your hand, spotting a red cardinal at the window). Although Adam has never much believed in “signs,” Grace has followed them all her life; in no small way, the whole reason she’s back at the beach house is because of a “sign” she saw one day earlier. Through the conversation, it’s clear Adam is second-guessing their split and using “signs” as a way to express his hesitation. About midway through the page, their call pivots to a brief flashback from an early (and bittersweet) moment in their relationship when their future together still felt full of promise.

Although page 69 doesn’t provide a big reveal (which comes a few pages later), it does highlight important details about the story. First, it sets up an event that comes at the midway point, one that ultimately pushes the rest of the plot forward. I’d argue that without this scene, that later twist probably wouldn’t have the architecture in place to logically exist. Likewise, the specific conversation between Grace and Adam is significant not only to this moment, but to the book as a whole. Since losing her mother, Birdie, the practice of looking for signs has become even more meaningful to Grace—she’s lost, searching for a new path, and hoping Birdie will send her guidance about how to move forward. On this page, Adam—who has never much believed in the practice but mostly humored Grace about her beliefs—is suddenly interested in the idea. Without him ever saying so directly, it shows he’s had a change-of-heart and is second-guessing their split. All in all, this page captures several themes central to the book—a feeling of regret about things not working out the way you’ve planned, and an uncertainty about how to take the next step.

Visit Angela Brown's website.

The Page 69 Test: Olivia Strauss Is Running Out of Time.

Q&A with Angela Brown.

The Page 69 Test: Some Other Time.

--Marshal Zeringue